Did you cram for your eye exam? Does a cold, sweaty feeling creep over your body as you wait to go into The Room? You know, The Dark room with all the blinds drawn and the chair you plunk down into while Nurse Ratchet seems to be taking great joy in adjusting you into something that looks like old sparky, the infamous Florida electric chair. Well she looked at you like she was sizing up your left kidney for the guy out front didn’t she?
Then The Fort Collins Eye Doctor comes strolling in right on time-OK truthfully you had to wait a few minutes more alone,—in a dark room,—in a chair that somewhat resembles Old Sparky,— with plenty of time to think about what was coming next.
What’s coming next is an inadequate explanation of what we are doing as Eye Doctors or no explanation at all. Most people don’t seem to want to know, so if you are feeling two steps away from having your eyes water-boarded (which by the way we utilize eyeball water-boarding and it works exceptionally well when someone has a toxic chemical spilled in their eye), it’s time for you to start asking questions. (And for your Optometrist to take the queue and start answering them).
First and most important I personally have only given failing grades to two patients on their eye test so your chances of passing are better than 99.999%. Those two people were both receiving a failing grade in their personal relationships prior to their eye exam so if you are having a bad day and want to yell, scream and throw things it might be a good idea to reschedule you eye examination and spend the day trying out for a local hockey team.
I find a large number of patients become very concerned they will get the wrong prescription because the lens changes are so hard to discriminate. From my side of the vision exam it’s a different perspective. We start with an instrument called an auto refractor. It does exactly what it is called; automatically it focuses through the optics of your eye and using mathematics called wave front analysis it determine what prescription you need. You don’t have to do a thing except look straight ahead at the target, keep still, and have your head pressed against the top headrest. Magically things clear up after the instrument whirs and hums and prints out your prescription. We refer to this as an objective refraction or reading because it is entirely independent of your verbal responses.